Top tips for newly engaged couples, from a wedding planner who’s planned 50+ weddings
First of all, congratulations! If you’ve just got engaged (or even if you’re hoping to be soon), I’m so happy for you! You will now be telling everyone you meet that you are newly engaged, so enjoy it!
Those first few days and weeks can feel like a whirlwind of your phone blowing up, Pinterest suddenly becoming your most used app, and wondering if you need to start booking suppliers right away. But before you get too swept up in wedding planning, here’s what I recommend doing first, as a wedding planner who’s helped over 50 lovely couples plan their big day.
1. Take it all in
The best first step is to not do anything. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but trust me this is the best way to not feel overwhelmed.
It can be really tempting to jump into planning mode and start locking things in, booking every venue visit under the sun and writing up your guest list, but this moment is special and therefore shouldn’t feel rushed. Celebrate, go for dinner, tell your people, take some photos and have a glass of champagne.
There’s absolutely no rush! You don’t need to book your venue within a week or pick a date tomorrow. Wedding planning is a marathon, not a sprint and it’s so much more enjoyable when you give yourself a little breathing space to enjoy the process.
2. Talk about what matters most to both of you
Before you even think about venues or spreadsheets, have a conversation with your partner about what you both want for the big day, this is your chance to get creative and listen to each other.
Think about:
- Do you want a big party or something more low key and intimate?
- City vibes, countryside venue or an abroad wedding?
- Are there family traditions to honour? Cultural considerations?
- What does the feeling of the day look like?
- Are there personalisations or fun activities to include that represent you as a couple?
- What are your wedding day deal breakers?
It doesn’t need to be a deep, structured chat just yet, but getting on the same page early on is one of the best ways to avoid stress and decision fatigue later. If you start with shared priorities, every step after that becomes much simpler.
3. Get a rough idea of your guest list
Quick note here: this can shape everything. You don’t need an exact headcount, but there’s a big difference between planning a wedding for 40 guests or 140.
Knowing your numbers helps you work out what kind of venue you’ll need, how much budget to allocate to food and drink, and what kind of logistics might be involved (transport, accommodation, staffing, etc). It’s also a great moment to start thinking about who you might want to bring on board for help, whether that’s a full wedding planner or someone to support you with on the day coordination and timelines.
4. Ballpark your budget
Again, you don’t need to map out every last detail (yet), but having a ballpark figure will really help when you start shortlisting venues and suppliers. Think of it more as a “comfort range” than a fixed number.
If you’re unsure where to begin, a wedding planner can help you set realistic expectations and highlight hidden costs couples often miss with things like furniture hire, overtime charges, and contingency buffers for last minute changes.
5. And finally… live it up!
You’re engaged! This is a moment you’ll only experience once so enjoy it. Post your engagement photos, throw a party, book a weekend trip away just the two of you to soak it all in!
There’s plenty of time to plan the perfect day, but enjoy the feeling of spending time together as a newly engaged couple. When you’re ready to start making decisions, you’ll do it from a place of excitement and not pressure.
If you want help, advice and guidance from the start of your planning journey so none of it feels stressful, I’d love to chat with you and offer support right from the start.
You can click here to book a relaxed planning consultation with me.
Photo credit: Heledd Roberts
